By now you’ve probably seen the video of a woman walking around New York City receiving over 100 catcalls that is making the rounds on the internet, and if you haven’t I’m sure it’ll make its way into your sphere of internet relevancy by the end of the week. Unless, of course, you’re my mother who just recently discovered a “really great song” called What Does the Fox Say? that was added to the jukebox of the local old person bar where she likes to spend her time. Then you’re probably reading about this for the first time right here.
Since most of you aren’t my mother, I’d like to share with you my insight on catcalling (or more accurately referred to as street harassment) and the myriad ways it affects all types of people living in a metropolitan hub. Because it’s such a one-sided phenomenon, arguments from all sides tend span the gamut, with certain demographics presenting completely misguided points.
Women are the victims here. That much is not up for debate. And although women comprise one homogeneous group as far as gender goes, women are by no means all the same. Right? (This is where I’d normally wait for a stupid response if I were having a conversation with someone.) Of course they aren’t. Race, religion, culture, physical attributes, and so on make women a varied and diverse group, much like men. However, there doesn’t seem to be much distinction when it comes to which types of women are subject to street harassment and which are not. There may be varying degrees, but from what I’ve seen and been told all women encounter this type of behavior. And if the problem is widespread shouldn’t we be looking for a solution?
Let me start out by saying I’ve seen this behavior play out on the streets of New York my entire life. It happens all the time and does not ordinarily take on a creativity that might actually prompt someone to stop and respond to such a solicitation. It’s horny dudes hoping to get lucky, doing or saying the first idiotic thing that comes to mind. Seinfeld summed it up pretty well in one of his monologues about using car horns as a dating tool. Except for a few rare occasions, the catcall is wholly unsuccessful. But it continues because men (warning: this is where I may teeter on the edge of sexism) have been ingrained with the ideology that we are expected to make the first move, and in a world like New York City where you have but mere seconds to make that move, if you see a stunning beauty on the street who you can imagine as the future love of your life, all the grace and dignity in the world can’t save a man from blurting out “You’re pretty,” upon passing a female pedestrian. I think it’s really that simple. It doesn’t justify the practice, but I hope it explains it a little from a male’s perspective.
I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’ve catcalled women before. I want to note that it was during my most rambunctious years between the ages of 17 – 23, only happened a handful of times, and was never anywhere near successful, usually in the form of a timid “Hi,” several steps after passing a woman I found attractive. Why did I do it? Probably because I had seen countless men before me do it, and I didn’t see the harm in it. Now that I have a girlfriend who endures this type of harassment on a daily basis, I understand how harmful it actually is.
Which brings me to Michael Che. One of the newest cast members on Saturday Night Live who co-hosts the program’s longest running skit, Weekend Update, made some comments about the catcalling video that many found insensitive. In short, he made light of catcalling comments like “Hi” and “You’re beautiful,” essentially saying they are compliments and women should lighten up. He compared it to people recognizing him on the street and constantly harassing him for autographs and photos. Although I disagree with his comparison in large part because he is a celebrity and public recognition comes with the territory, and in equally large part because he isn’t subject to threatening sexual advances, there is a very, very small takeaway here. New York City is already maligned for being an impersonal city where people want nothing to do with one another. If people are now being told they can’t say hello to one another or wish someone a good day because it’s considered harassment, then where do we draw the line? Maybe it’s best nobody every talks to anyone else ever again. Sure, many “Hellos” said by one stranger to another can really be translated into “Wanna bang?” but not all of them. I have been known to talk to strangers and not because I want to get my rocks off.
Che’s comments indirectly bring up another point about street harassment. It’s not exclusively sexist. It can also be racist, classist, homophobic, and stereotypical. (Now we’re all having fun!) An article in Brooklyn Magazine argues that having a white woman as the focus of the catcalling video doesn’t properly address the problem or do justice for all of those who experience this form of harassment. It’s bigger than a white-woman-can’t-walk-alone-in-bad-neighborhoods problem.
And it is true that street harassment comes in many forms. As mentioned earlier, my girlfriend will routinely be asked to smile more when walking alone, but when we walk down the street together now I’m the one who’s being told that I have a beautiful woman and I should take care of her, or that we’re a beautiful couple and we’ll have beautiful children. Seems like an odd thing for a stranger to tell me. Sometimes when I’m walking alone I’ll be asked by an Orthodox Jew to hop on his mitvah tank for a rousing session of prayer even though I’m not Jewish. Occasionally I’ll pass an elderly lady or group of ladies who just can’t help but tell me how handsome I am. (Shout out to Ethel.)
Point I’m trying to make is that it’s not an everyday thing for me, and I’m a 30-year-old white guy. I don’t endure the same type of verbal abuse as other groups. (Or do I?) I can deal with the rare random compliment or infrequent misplaced stereotype, but if I had to incorporate that into my daily routine I could imagine getting fed up rather quickly. Nobody should be expected to tolerate harassment. It should be up to those doling out the harassment to understand that no, sir, you are not a catch, and also it’s time to grow up. So roll that tongue back up into your mouth, place your protruding eyes back in their sockets, and act like a decent human being. Think you can do that?
colin.d.kennedy 